Good bye my beautiful Anastasia
On Saturday, my heart was shattered. I got the news that a very, very, very dear friend of mine had passed away. It left me utterly devastated. And took a few days to be able to express some of this pain.
I am not sure where to even begin to express the anguish that I feel. Anastasia was a sister. We met when she was seventeen or eighteen and had just moved to America. She lived in Brooklyn with her boyfriend. We met at a party, maybe in 1999 or 2000, and remained friends for the rest of our lives in New York City. Sometimes unannounced, she’d show up for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. We had sleepovers, comforted each other in bad times, and painted the town red much too often. Somehow we’d always end up in the same neighborhood and were neighbors for over 20 years. The post-9/11 rise of New York was something to be reckoned with. Anastasia thrived on good energy; we were so young, fun, and wild! The world was so exciting and fast; there were so many memories, all of which were impossible to verbalize. I know that most people consider New York a big city. But for us, it wasn’t. We had an incredible group of friends, so everyone knew one another and rotated in the same circles. So we would see each other at dinners, parties, events, exhibits, and the Hamptons, and one way or another, our paths continually crossed. We rotated, so friendships span neighborhoods, friends, years, and interests. There were so many of us. I feel that her death puts the final nail in the coffin of my youth. It is devastating, unprecedented, and just utterly heartbreaking.
For those who knew Nastya, you know that our loss is immeasurable, it is impossible to describe her in words, but if I had to pick one, it would be ethereal. Anastasia was ethereal.
She was a fairy, an irreplicable beauty. We shared much of our youth before all the tech and social media, so many memories left needed to be documented. Our friendship began way before the world went all digital. Someone posted that she went from a ball to a luxury bath, which is the perfect way to describe our beautiful friend. So many of you are crying as you read this; I am also crying. The world without Anastasia doesn’t seem complete. It doesn’t seem right. It almost seems like the end is near as the world without her isn’t worth being in. She was more significant, brighter, and so effervescent. She was and always will be remembered by many of us as someone too special to live on Earth. I know God wanted her back, and so he took her.
The stories of her and I are epic; I know those who are reading know that also! Here is one story that I wanted to share. The last time I saw Anastasia. We didn’t think it was going to be the last. And now that I look back on it, I understand how profoundly beautiful it was with her.
We last saw each other in April 2019; I was recently single and in my new apartment. I called Anastasia, and she came over with a bottle of champagne to cheer me up. We talked for hours and just hung out. It’s what we always did.
Anastasia loved opera, symphony, and ballet. She loved all cultures and was a constant at museums, galleries, and anything art related. Elegance, sophistication, and love of all beauty are something I will always remember her by. That evening Anastasia had tickets to the Met, so we decided to walk from firth and 23rd and head uptown hours before the admission time.
We ate at Beyond Sushi, headed uptown, and walked through Times Square. No sane or real New Yorker ever does that, and so I remember that walk so vividly, the lights, the mayhem, the tourists, and us…we just wanted to be part of that energy that night, passing it all by. We were on a mission. Some movements are etched in our hearts forever. That evening will always stay with me.
When we made it uptown and into the concert hall, we had missed most of the performance and lost ourselves, our beautiful city, and the warm spring air. There were just a few minutes left, which we appreciated more than if we had come on time. After applauding as hard and loud as possible, we proceeded to central park, where we sat on a bench and smoked a joint. We hung out there for a few hours, just chatting and dreaming; Anastasia lay on the bench with her head on my lap, then we switched, and I paid in her lap, just like we always did. We were always close; there was so much warmth, and we shared tears and laughter. Friendships like ours were so rare.
Our next stop was David Burke, where we ordered hot chocolate and so much dessert that the cashier asked us if we were meeting friends, as us two couldn't eat everything we had bought. She didn’t realize the munchies we had both worked up, post weed and park. We ate it all. We both loved decadence.
After that, we started our journey back downtown; it must have been around 1 am or so when Anastasia had an idea to go to a Korean spa, which was on our way home, which was where we went and got massages and then sat in a steam room for another hour or so. There were so many people there, and us two, just hanging out like old times. After that, she dropped me off, and I went home. I didn’t realize that was the last time. So I didn’t say a proper goodbye.
That was the last time I saw her. It was 2019. We texted a few times throughout the pandemic, but not enough. I didn’t know she was sick; her death completely shattered my heart.
Rest in peace, sweet angel! May you be as glorious up in the heavens as you were with us. The light you left us with is beaming bright, and we all long for one more night with you. I love you, Nastik. Rest in Peace.