Eight questions to assess your Digital Dependence

• Do you feel that you are constantly waiting for someone to send you a message? 
  We are constantly in anticipation of something; we are now all Pavlov Dog.  This concept makes me really uneasy as I try day in and day out to fight the cause-and-effect mechanisms in which tech is trying to persuade my brain to want to do things that I know are bad for me in the long run.  I think that is one of the main reasons we are all a little “off” these days. We are being forced by AI to operate on a much faster scale than our human brain is accustomed to. Our cognitive thinking is being rewired, if you had to picture it, we are all sitting waiting by the slot machine, only the slot machine is our phone and it's in our hand.

• Do you take your phone out every time you are in conversation and need to reference something, look something up, or show a picture?
  Remember debates? Bets? Heated discussions? Somehow having 3 conversations before finding the correct answer to the initial question, all of that has been obliterated by the phone which is now used as a reference to pretty much everything, we forget that we also hold an incredible wealth of knowledge and information which we can access in moments.  We can describe places, feelings, emotions, scenery, the grandiosity of something spectacular, or relate to sorrow, which rips our soul out at times and shatters our hearts to tiny pieces. This is how we connect, how we get oxytocin which we need to thrive and be happy. There is a tremendous difference between oxytocin and dopamine.

• If you are waiting for a friend for a morning coffee, and your friend is running late, do you just sit still and observe the room, see the morning sun through the window, or are you on your phone? 
  If you can, try to stay present.  I know it's almost impossible not to grab the phone. But it is in these moments that we not only make our own connections to the outside world but possibly connect to someone else who is lonely, which most of us are today.

• Can you watch a full-hour show or a movie without checking your phone once? 
  This is almost impossible now.  We multitask at every given moment, including while watching our favorite TV shows, movies, and really any other programming.

• Does your phone come to the bathroom with you? 
  If so, gross. But seriously, that is one place where some of the best thinking can be done, the bathroom, in my opinion, is a good place to start practicing boredom.  It’s safe, you will only be there as long as you want/need to. Also, since you have to wash your hands after the bathroom, do you technically have to wash the phone? I firmly think that that is a “yes” and if so it would be better to just leave it outside. 

• Do you check your phone while driving?
  This is a big NO!  Although I know we have all been there, we have to start drawing the line somewhere, and I sincerely hope that as loving, connected human beings we can all agree that texting and driving is absolutely unacceptable.  Kids learn while watching their parents, so if you are a parent and drive, please don’t text and drive.

• Is the phone the first thing you see when you wake up and last before you go to bed?
  I am guilty of this, we all are.  Divert your love, attention, and morning intention to your partner.  They may not be there one day. If you are sans a partner then give extra love to your dog. 

• Are you able to have phone-free meals? 
  This is critical for both our human and social capital evolution. I was born and raised in the former Soviet Union, traditionally dinner (meal times in general) was incredibly important, food was not always available, and when it was there wasn't a whole lot of variety of it.  Family meals were long, we stood in lines to buy food, had to carry it home, clean it (for example, chickens came with feathers - you had to pluck them out) then, prepare it, eat it, and clean up after. All of it took time and effort. Now I can place a food order in less than 2 minutes and have it delivered within 20 minutes.  And then eat while staring at my phone for the next 5 minutes.
  
  As I am exploring this new space of digital health, wellness, and balance I encourage your participation and would love to hear your feedback, your failures, and your successes.